Okay so tonight I am feeling pretty lonely and emotional so I just wanted to write an update while I am in this frame of mind.
Its a Saturday night and I am home alone which doesn't feel too great when you are 19! This is the first Saturday night I have spent alone in months so I guess that is partly why I feel so emotional. I hate being alone because that it when I get thinking about everything about my anxiety and agoraphobia and I try to avoid thinking about those things because if I do I worry that I will actually go crazy! Its pretty hard for me to write this blog because I feel kind of vulnerable I usually don't like people to see that side to me I like to keep up appearances and come across as strong and happy.
I feel frustrated because I want to go out into the world, I want to go back to school and get a job. I want to go on holiday and learn to drive and do everything I want to do but that just isn't an option for me at the moment and I honestly have no idea when I will be able to do all those things. It's just hard being so young and watching your life pass you by.
I am so sorry for the ramblings and I don't want to seem very woe is me but I think we all get days like this. I can't really write any more because I am so anxious and tired and emotional but I will probably extend this blog at a later date,
Emma
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Hi Emma,
ReplyDeleteAt least you have put down on paper your feelings, an excellent coping mechanism, and that is how I have learned to cope with things, and also talking to a very close friend and not family who are too close at hand and can not see any subtle changes in your mood or feelings.
I have such a very close friend and also have had help from an advocate at the local CAB. I can send details of this separately by email if you wish. So try to keep occupied in a hobby or interest like the group and you would make a future good CAB counsellor after training.
Best Wishes,
Robert