My First Panic Attack.

 can still remember my first panic attack it was the single most terrifying experience of my life especially because I didn't actually know what a panic attack was. I was 15 and I was at school. I was going to Science with my 2 best friends when all of a sudden I felt very hot and dizzy, the corridor was busy and loud and I felt frightened I grabbed my friends hand and she looked surprised at my behaviour. I rushed into our classroom and took of my jumper desperately trying to cool down. I had no idea what was wrong with me I thought I was going to faint. Inside the classroom I felt disorientated and uneasy I clasped my hands over my ears and closed my eyes trying to calm myself down.

Nobody had any idea what was wrong with me and I just sat there feeling frightened and confused, in the end my teacher sent me to an empty classroom where I sat with one of the science teachers. He asked me what had happened and could it have been an asthma attack and my reply was that I honestly had no idea what had happened to me as it had never happened before.

I left school at lunchtime and I never really went back, I couldn't face it I felt confused, embarrassed and scared that if I did go back to school it would happen again.
Once I stopped going to school slowly I began to stop leaving the house all together, I made excuses to not see my friends, even going as far as purposely falling out with them and cutting them out my life. I felt like a total freak I had no idea what was wrong with me or why I felt frightened to go out and do normal things. I eventually developed Agoraphobia but I will talk about that more in a different post. Anyway I kept getting these sensations but it was happening on a regular basis now I constantly felt sick and tired and on edge, my mum took me to the doctors where he explained that I was suffering from panic attacks.

At the age of 15 I had no idea what a panic attack was and neither did my family which made it hard on all of us trying to deal with what was happening to me. Its been 4 years since my first panic attack and I've had one almost every day since, some are pretty severe and others I can handle with ease. People would think that it would get easier seen as I have had so many and that I would be used to it but the truth is I probably will never get used to it and every time I have one it is just as scary as the first time I ever experienced it.

Emma
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